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Frieda L. Ferrick, MFT, Santa Rosa Counseling: Have Your Kiddies Flown the Coop and You Are Wondering What's Next?

Some thoughts about children leaving home and how it impacts parents.

For years you knew the time was coming when all of your children or your child would be leaving home.  You knew that your (child) children would be moving on.  You thought about having a clean house, full refrigerator and quiet.  So now it is here.  Are you wondering why are you feeling so odd?  Are you feeling lost and confused?  These feelings are not unrealistic.  You have spent many years growing your child and now he or she are at the point of their life when they are moving on either to work or college.

So now what is in store for you?  You will not be a parent in the same way.  Your child may come back to live at your house at some point but now they will have to be responsible for their choices and and the way they live their lives.

On some level your work is done in that particular way of being responsible for the life and choices that you made for your child.  Now your feelings may feel huge.  You may be wondering, who am I now that I am not actively parenti8ng, what is next?  What should I be doing?

This time now is one of transition, from full-time parenting to full time being responsible just for yourself!  It might take weeks, months even a year to adjust to your different life style.

The important thing is to understand that you are not alone, and that your feelings while unique to you are not that different from other parents going down the same path.

What are you going to do now?  You will always be needed as a parent but not in that 24 hours a day kind of way.

This is now a time for you to explore what you want as far as relationships, work and your dreams.  Take your time, all those years it took to grow a child and now it is time to for you to further your own growth.

This post is contributed by a community member. The views expressed in this blog are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of Patch Media Corporation. Everyone is welcome to submit a post to Patch. If you'd like to post a blog, go here to get started.

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